Those Moments That You Just Want To Forget
We all have them en-route to somewhere from somewhere, those moments that you just want to cringe and crawl away into the nearest hole in the ground. Your face explodes into a brilliant crimson beacon, so even if very few people actually spied your embarrassment moment, many others soon tweak to the fact that you appear to be in an awkward situation.
The pants down episodes at the airport:
Surely other people wear jeans that are a tad too big, the sloppy and comfy ones that are perfect for sitting on a plane for hours. If you put a belt on, you are fine, they stay exactly where they are meant sit fashionably on your hips, high on your waist or hanging off your arse, as some like them. After ripping the belt off, as told to do by the smiling staff at the airport scanning machine, it is another story altogether. One either holds them with a free hand to keep them in place, or say very long prayers whilst walking through the scanner so that they will not succumb to gravity.
Mine obviously thought they belonged on the floor where they usually reside in my bedroom. I made it through the scanner, but putting my arms out to the side at what I call the bomb detection swiping of the magic wand, left me flashing my bright purple undies for all to see when my jeans slipped down my hips and hit the ground.
A tip to avoid this:
Don't just grab your belongings from the conveyor belt and believe you will escape the beady eyes of the detonation seekers lurking beyond. Put your belt back on before you move away from the scanner section.
Internet flight booking dilemmas:
Booking flights on the Internet is a breeze; to the point that one can do it almost blindfolded these days. Just pick your dates, then your flights, don't forget to tick or delete what extra add-ons that particular airline want to stick you with to increase your basic fare, throw in your credit card numbers and hit the button.
Oh so easy that, concentration on what you are doing is an optional state of mind.
Until the day you come unstuck such as with connecting flights that actually don't connect. Or with the paupers airport and the upmarket airport now a fixed fixture in most international cities, a plane might land at one and your next flight takes off from another one with not enough time in between to race to the other airport. The best faux pas I have ever made is the fact that when I checked in at the airport, the desk attendant said to me "Oh, going on business are you?" To which I replied, "No, just having a break." She looked at me strangely and said, "But you do realize that you are flying back tonight? That isn't much of a break." My weeklong holiday had now become a fly in fly out adventure of four hours in between my booked flights. My jaw dropped as I did I when I got down on my hands and knees and begged her to change it for me without any penalty payment. The guy behind me roared with laughter and then began the Chinese whispers snaking back through the queue behind about the dumb broad that can't book a flight correctly.
A tip to avoid this:
Do not have wine in hand, chat on the telephone, contemplate what hot date you may have that night, yell at the kids or in any manner distract yourself from that airline's website page. Put your blinkers on and totally concentrate on those pesky dates and times before you hit that tempting button which will have you dreaming of your holiday escape. If the above is beyond the length of your concentration time, then make sure you check the dates and times when you print out your ticket, that always helps.
Other moments of utter and total embarrassment often include smutty toilet talk such as using your own nickers when no toilet paper is provided, getting locked in a toilet whilst your luggage is sitting outside with complete strangers and then have the restaurant cheer half an hour later when you are finally released from your prison loo. Relieving yourself behind that thick bush you found only to realize if you looked the other way, you are totally exposed to what could be enough people to fill a football stadium. Walking around nude in a hotel room only to discover it is window-cleaning day and there is a guy outside licking the windowpane clean. Or for me the ultimate moment was being taken shopping by a taxi driver in Milan, Italy, when my luggage didn't arrive with the plane, only to discover he had better taste than I did. To put it mildly, I have been named the true label whore where clothes are concerned.
I have learnt to laugh at myself despite my red faced moments and consider myself lucky that normally I am traveling alone, so I am not harming my friends in any manner by my moments of madness. The added bonus when traveling and you can feel the heat rising to your face, you don't know the people around you and hopefully you won't see them ever again. Despite this wish, it does happen. My now standard reply is, "Oh no it wasn't me, how funny, it must have been my doppelganger."
Gail Palethorpe, a self proclaimed Australian gypsy, is a freelance writer, photographer and eternal traveller. Check out her website Gail Palethorpe Photography and her Shutterstock profile.
