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Easy Tips To Being Hated Everywhere You Go

Tips To Being A Hated Traveller

Image Credit: Pixabay

 

Craving a little ‘me time’ while travelling? Desperate for the sweet relief of solitude? Looking for some breathing room on your next international sojourn?

 

You’re in luck. The best way to score instant isolation while travelling is by making everyone you come in contact with on your trip – from fellow travellers to exotic locals – completely and utterly hate you.

 

Here are 17 easy ways to make people despise you in a way that’s instant, deep, and lasting.

 

#   1Hoe to be hated tourist

Forget you have a giant backpack on your back and make lots of sudden movements.

 

#   2Hoe to be hated tourist

Travel in giant packs of 20 of your closest friends. Be sure to speak to each other by shouting loudly across open spaces and airplane terminals.

 

#   3Hoe to be hated tourist

Assume what’s culturally kosher back home is kosher everywhere else on the planet. No matter where you go or how people glare, just keep doing you.

 

#   4Hoe to be hated tourist

Walk around temples and holy sites in various states of undress. Bikini tops for women and board shorts for men are preferable.

 

#   5Hoe to be hated tourist

Drink. A lot. Drink like you’ve never drunk before. Drink in the morning, in the middle of the day, and at 2am on a Monday. Use this sacred time on foreign soil as a test of your ability to imbibe copious amounts of alcohol, and to share your glorious state of inebriation with all the sleeping locals who have to work at 5am.

 

#   6Hoe to be hated tourist

Speak to non-native English speakers exactly as you would with native speakers. Get frustrated when they don’t understand what you’re saying.

 

#   7Hoe to be hated tourist

Better yet, speak slowly and loudly at non-native English speakers. Don’t change the actual words you’re using - say the exact same thing, but shout it. Your louder volume and slower pace will help people instantly learn English.

 

#   8 Hoe to be hated tourist

While shopping for souvenirs, bargain for an hour to protect yourself from being “scammed” by the poverty-stricken shop owner who spent eight hours painting that lantern by hand. Glare when she won’t budge on the price, which already amounts to about fifty cents.

Tips To Being A Hated Traveller

Image Credit : Jonathan Kos-Read Flickr


#   9Hoe to be hated tourist

Assume that those pesky airline rules about overhead compartments and upright seat positions apply to everyone but you.

 

# 10 Hoe to be hated tourist

Snore on the plane.

 

# 11 Hoe to be hated tourist

Snore on the train.

 

# 12 Hoe to be hated tourist

Snore through the thin walls of other people’s hotel rooms.

 

# 13 Hoe to be hated tourist

Chew gum in countries where it’s not allowed, because you believe its your right.

 

# 14Hoe to be hated tourist

Eat sloppy, smelly street food inside museums.

 

# 15Hoe to be hated tourist

Eat sloppy, smelly fast food on the plane.

 

# 16Hoe to be hated tourist

Take selfies with your arms around priceless ancient statues. Don’t forget the peace sign and make sure to use that selfie stick with blatant  disregard for those around you.

 

# 17Hoe to be hated tourist Think of your travel destination as your home-away-from home, but without the boring responsibilities of work and ‘real life.’  Forget the fact that the locals who live in the place you’re visiting are not on vacation, but are getting up early, going to work, practicing their religion, and enduring annoying tourists day in and day out.

 

When all else fails, remember: it’s all about you.

 

If travel isolation isn’t your thing and you’d actually like to befriend your fellow travellers (not to mention the locals), go ahead and do the opposite of everything I’ve just listed.

 

Also, tip your server, even when it’s culturally unnecessary. I’ve always found that’s a great way to make friends.

 

Rebecca Anne Nguyen is a freelance writer and the Founder of TheHappyPassport.com, an inspiration site for solo female travellers.

 

 

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Rebecca Anne Nguyen  | May 16, 2016
Categories : Travel Tips
Tags : Stay Relaxed, Humour, Leisure Travel, Tourist, Traveller, Top List
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